Sex 101 : How To Make a Woman Orgasm

Earlier this morning, I was asked to make a post about how to make a woman orgasm. It's easy, really. It's not rocket science. It takes time though since most women take longer to climax than their male partners. And that's perfectly normal since once a woman orgasms, continuous stimulation allows her to keep on orgasming! Just keep water handy though, you don't want to dehydrate her.

There are three different ways for a woman to achieve an orgasm. There is orgasm from oral stimulation, G spot stimulation and the other one is from vaginal penetration. But before we move on, let's have a quick overview on facts about orgasms.

• More than 70% of women have orgasms as a result of direct clitoral stimulation and unlike men, we can enjoy multiples!
• Sigmund Freud (psychoanalyst) claimed that women can have two types of orgasm - clitoral and vaginal. But in 1966, sex researchers Masters and Johnson revealed and proved that there's only one female orgasm; just more than one way of reaching it.
• 70% of women have faked an orgasm. Surefire ways for guys / gals to tell it's real include retraction of the clitoral hood just before and orgasm, racing heart, dilated pupils, vaginal muscle spams, arched feet and stiffened nipples.
• Less than a third of all women regularly orgasm during sex.
• 1% of women can orgasm from breast stimulation alone! 
• Orgasm is marked by the release of tension more than the increase in pleasure. While an orgasm can be "that" intense, volcanic eruption we're so used to hearing about, it can also be much less pronounced and defined. Orgasms come in different intensities. (The first woman I've been with was the type where she would just tremble, tense up and orgasms silently. The second one was the intense type. She would moan like crazy before and during orgasms.)
• Only 13% of the women of the world can squirt. (Both the women I've been with before were no squirters. So am I.)

1. Be comfortable


- Basically, don't be a douchebag. Don't be an asshole. Be a gentleman. Make her comfortable about the whole ordeal. Don't be in a hurry. Engage in a conversation. Compliment her. Make her feel good with your words. If she's not comfortable, she'd feel conscious and awkward and that would ruin the build up of orgasm that you're trying to create.

- Set up the mood. Dim the lights. Caress her. Lightly kiss and touch her. Slowly but surely. I know, it sounds torture when you're all raring up to go but it's gonna be worth it anyway.


2. Tease before you please

- Once she's all comfortable, move to tease. There are many different and surefire ways to tease a woman. Our dear friend, trusty ol' Google can help you up.

-Do not immediately work on her vagina through penetrating it with your fingers or tongue. Build up the momentum and do not be in a hurry to make her cum. Remember, it is the process that matters, not the end. The longer you tease her, the more intense her orgasms will be.


3. Work your way up

- Start your orgasm quest by exploring her body to find her most sensitive area. For most women, that would be the clitoris. For others, it may be inside the vagina -- near the G-spor ot deeper in, near the cervix. It can also be the labia, nipples or even her belly button. It differs for every woman so leave no body part untouched. Once you've found it, slowly work your way by stroking and massaging your new found happy place, do it slowly according to the pace that you are following. Let her relax and focus on the sensations that you are giving her.

- Remember to increase your pace from time to time or if you'd rather give her a rollercoaster ride, you can switch pace every now and then. Just make sure that it won't be an unpleasant experience for her.

4. Release, relax and continue

- Gradually increase your pace and focus on her sensitive areas. Most women can climax simultaneously so let her relax a few seconds after orgasming. Allow her to enjoy the sensation before building up another orgasm.


Here are more tips that can help you make a woman orgasm.  

• Time stress is a real problem. If she thinks it’s taking too long, that will make it take even longer. You can make this better or worse by what you say and how you react. She needs to know her climax is important to you – that you don’t feel satisfied until she’s satisfied. Let her know you’re happy to give her all the time she needs.

• Rushing can result in a faster but less pleasurable climax. A couple more minutes can make a huge difference. Let her know you understand this, and you see quality as more important than speed. In addition to letting her enjoy more, this further reduces her time stress.

• Let her guide you on how long foreplay lasts. Both too little and too much can slow her getting to climax.

• If you’re trying for climax during intercourse, her being on top can greatly improve things as it allows her to move and get what she likes and needs.

• Enjoy yourself, and make sure she knows you’re enjoying yourself. This is a real turn on, and it helps her relax.

• Asking her about her progress will only make her aware of the time and slow things down. If you must ask her about this ask what she wants rather than anything that sounds like “Are we there yet?”

• For women climax requires feeling safe, relaxed, and not at all distracted. You can do a great deal to help her with these things:Let her unwind before you start any hint of foreplay. Five minutes of talk before sex can cut ten minutes off the amount of foreplay she needs.

--Relax her body with a bit of massage where she’s stiff or sore.

--Make sure you have privacy – no chance of someone walking in, no fear of someone hearing.

--If there’s a phone where it could be heard, it needs to be totally silent. Just hearing it vibrate can be a problem.

--Make sure she’s comfortable – good position, warm or cool enough. 

--Be clean – she’s more sensitive to odours, and they can distract her.

--Trying to carry on a conversation is going to distract her. Don’t say much, and try to say things that don’t indicate you expect a response. If you need to ask her something, try to word it so she can answer with a single word.

Good sex isn't just about being able to orgasm every time. Reaching climax is just the third stage on the circle of desire (arousal, plateau and recovery are the others). For women, it's possible to feel sexually satisfied at any stage - not just when you orgasm. It's not about the destination, my dear readers, it's about the journey!

Sex 101 : Woman on Top

Being on top of your guy can be awkward and tiring if you're not used to it but guys love it when you take control and it makes them go gaga. In fact, in a poll conducted by Cosmopolitan, it is the top ranking position that guys love. It looks like seeing you in all your glory as you straddle him on top gets his libido going.

But let's face it. You might end up being uncomfortable and tired, specially on the legs. Honestly, you're not gonna feel that way if done right. Being on top offers more gratification than other sex positions because it lets you feel closer to your partner and puts you in charge of your own pleasure. You decide how fast the pace is and how deep your guy will enter you, making it more likely for the woman to reach an orgasm. It might sound like sexual science fiction but woman on top is supposed to be comfortable, make you feel seductive and sensual and offers a high probability of an orgasm. 

So to help you feel good about it, here are 4 ways to master the woman on top position.

FIRST TIP : Be Confident, Straddle Up

-The first thing you gotta do before assuming the position is to be confident, seductive and sensual. It might seem like you will need an instruction booklet to get this right but you don't. It is all about perspective. Feel sexy, be sexy. Your guy's dong won't stand in attention if he doesn't find you attractive, so own it. Leaning backward makes your boobs perkier and your stomach flatter. Plus he gets a full frontal view of your glory, which turns him on a lot. 

- If you'd rather be less revealing, pull your guy's shoulders toward you so you're both sitting upright with your legs wrapped around each other and your torsos melded together. If he prefers to lie down, you could just lean forward as if you're going on a doggy style position and you can proceed to move from there.

- Another tip : don't be too hasty to put it in. Make sure that he's rock hard and that you're wet. Tease and stimulate him a little bit. Tease him before he enters you by slowly running your fingers down his chest to his shaft and stroking his member until it's good and hard. Then with one hand on the best or his chest for support, hold the base of his penis with your other hand and slowly lower yourself onto him. You can also hover for a bit, brushing against the tip of his member with your clit if it feel good for you. Kiss his chest, stick your butt up in the air and slowly guide his penis into your vagina. Savor it. Make sure that it's entirely in before moving. Give your pelvic muscles a little squeeze for extra sensation. Remember, if you feel good, the chances are so does he!

SECOND TIP : Move to the Groove

- Once you got everything settled inside, it's time to settle into a rhythm. Remember, sitting on your guy and pounding on him or grinding circles around his member is not as simple as it sounds. It's really tiring. It involves a lot of your biggest muscles like the ones in your legs. There are other ways to enjoy this position than moving up and down, which gets you tired really fast. Think about it, great sex is all about the rhythm and motion. Both of you have to feel in sync with each other to actually enjoy it. If you move too aggressively, your man who's lying down would never be able to keep up with you.

- Try moving your hips in a steady circular motion. This way, you'll feel your man rub against all sides of your vaginal walls and you can experiment to find penetration and positioning that feel best for you.

- You could also slowly rock back and forth instead of bouncing up and down, moving your body forward until your clit presses against his pubic bone. The combination of feeling him inside you as your privates are being stimulated can make your orgasm faster.

- If you're feeling kinky, you could use a pillow under his butt to raise his pelvis slightly so you could rub against him. You can also fine tune your technique. Arch your back and his member will be against your G-spot. Sit straight up and he'll fit into you more directly, providing a deeper, fuller feel. Keeping your legs together tightens your grip and boosts the sensations for both of you.

THIRD TIP : Let Him Help You

- Just because you're in the lead doesn't mean the guy should just lie back and enjoy the ride. (GUYS, TAKE NOTE PLEASE) Ask him to help out if your knees starts to feel sore or when a simple action from his part would make the sex twice as nice.

- Guys, when you feel like your woman's getting tired, lend a hand by clutching her hips and rear end, gently pulling her forward and backward. You could also try grinding your groins in tandem so you feed off her momentum without letting her to all the waves by herself. Think of it as a sexy seesawing, where you push your pelvis up towards her while she's thrusting down and back. The friction will hike up the excitement and provide clitoral stimulation.

FOURTH TIP : Double the Pleasure

- Raise the game by letting him stimulate your breasts, belly and clitoris as you're riding him. Take advantage of the accessibility of being open by getting your man to give you a little manual pleasure. Having him stroke you as you bump and grind gives you twice as much sensation, which can launch you to an orgasm.

- Here's a tip : Take his hand and make the movements you want him to use so he knows what gets you going. The extra stimulation makes sex better than ever!

No matter what adjustments need to be made, keep this tip in mind : If he pops out at any point, just put it back in and resume the action. Also avoid thrusting too forcefully or you could bend his penis, which can result in a serious injury.

Keep these tips in mind and have an awesome experience. Message me on what position should we talk about next! Thanks for reading. <3

Beginner's Guide to Anal Sex

PREPARE YOUR ANUS ...

When I first indulged in sex, anal sex was never in my list of "Things to Try in Sex". I never liked the idea of having a penis going in and out of my butthole. I thought that it was plainly disgusting. So I never did.

Well, not until my boyfriend pressured me out of it. I admit, it was a wrong decision. You should never, ever let somebody pressure you to do things. It ruins the fun. The first time I did it, I cried. He had no idea what he was doing. It was brutal and I hated it. I asked him to take it out but he never did until he came. I hated it. From then on, I always snaked my way out of it  every time he asked. 

But moving forward, we broke up and I ended up with a fuck buddy. He was fun and adventurous on and off the bed but he always made sure in asking of my permission beforehand. After a month of being together, I ended up wanting to try it again and so we did. But this time, it was pleasurable. Painful yet the pleasure was there. 

Anal sex can be intimidating at first but you can make it easier.

The reason so many people never want to try anal sex is because they think it will be messy, unsexy or even unsafe. Follow these guidelines during your anal sex preparation and you will never ever have to worry about it being messy or unsexy.

1. GET SUPER CLEAN 

- The first part is always crucial. Always make sure to use the bathroom first. Never do it if you feel too full. Avoid any food that might give you a loose stool. After cleaning yourself on the inside, proceed to clean yourself on the outside too. A quick shower and soap can do the trick for that.


2. STAY SAFE.

- Always stay safe. Some people think that just because you can't get pregnant by doing it that way, you can just go and skip wearing condoms. Catching an STI from anal sex is possible, thus said, always wear a condom if you guys ever plan on going backdoor.


3. NEVER BE FORCED INTO DOING IT

- Never! Never be forced in doing something just because your partner wants to. If you feel uncomfortable with it, then you have every right to decline. Trust me, it will feel way better if you, yourself wants to do it.


4. LUBE IS YOUR FRIEND

- Yes, some people think that lubricants are messy but come on, it will help you a lot in making the experience easier and much more enjoyable. I suggest going for thick lubricants since water based ones easily dry off.


5. RELAX

- Obviously, vaginal sex is different from anal sex. The biggest difference is how it feels for the both of you. For the receiver, it can be quite unpleasant at first, specially if your partner has no idea on how anal sex works.


6. KNOW "THAT" MUSCLE

- The anal sphincter is found at the entrance of your anus. This muscle plays a very crucial role in how you will enjoy the deed. This muscle isn't like any other. It doesn't relax very quickly but once it does, it can stretch quite a bit. If your man tries to enter you without letting it relax, then the whole ordeal would become very painful and uncomfortable. I suggest for you to basically relax your sphincter so that you can fit your man's penis comfortably in you. 


7. GO SLOW

- The last and arguably the most important part of learning how to prepare for anal sex is making sure to communicate effectively with your partner so that he understands the potential pain he can cause you. I suggest starting in the dogstyle position with your man upright and quite still while you are on fours. This way, you will have full control of how fast and deep you can take him. Remember, he must absolutely stay still at first. Then, as you loosen up more and become more comfortable, you can start allowing him to thrust. Just make sure he doesn't get too caught up and forget the right pace that suits you.

And that concludes everything that you need to keep in mind as a beginner in anal sex. Stay safe and have a mind blowing experience!